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Difficult people make life interesting

By DONNA BRAYMER donnab@harrisondaily.com

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Do you have anyone in your life that is difficult to deal with? Please don’t raise your hand, or say their name out loud. We all have difficult people to deal with every day.

No worries. I won’t name any names either. But I think even the people we love can be difficult to deal with at times.

I had a driver just today, create her own lane beside me as we went through the parking lot by Goodwill and Subway. There’s just two lanes. One coming in, and one going out. But I was going over the speed bump slowly, so she just created another lane to my right. And we were going through there side by side — except she was determined to get ahead of me. So I paused and gave her a hand signal gesture that said, “Go ahead my dear. You are the queen.” I promise I wasn’t ugly, but I figured the moment I said it, it really wasn’t nice of me to think that about her. But difficult drivers — even in a parking lot can get on our nerves!

I went to a meeting just for ladies last week while I was in Springfield. The room was full of pastors’ and staff wives, missionary wives as well as female students from Baptist Bible College. That was one large room full of ladies! 

Believe it or not, the speaker spoke on the difficult people in our lives. I have to admit, some faces popped into my mind.

The phrase she repeated often so we would get it in our thick skulls (speaking for myself) was, “The way you respond to difficult people might be one of the greatest indicators of how you really think of God.” Erin Davis immediately began stepping on toes in that room — and not just mine.

Another statement that made sense to me was, “Kicking and screaming in obedience is still obedience.” Yikes. How many times have I reacted that way?  Let’s not count those ways.

She referenced Romans 13:1. God chooses kings, presidents, pastors and people in leadership positions — whether we agree with them or not. 

You may remember that Samuel anoints David as king, but it’s many years before he was actually receiving the paycheck and the big house. In the meantime King Saul was trying to kill him. While on the run, David and 400 men were out in the wild and came in contact with a very disagreeable man. Mr. Nabal. David’s men were helping keep the sheep and shepherds safe and heard that Nabal was throwing a big party. They asked for the leftovers. Who doesn’t like some good food while you're away from home?

Well, Nabal refused and when David heard about it, he went “nuclear,” as the speaker said. The Bible says Nabal was harsh, badly behaved and rich. His wife Abigail was described as discerning, and beautiful. She heard what her foolish husband had said and knew this would upset David when his men reported it to him.

So she immediately diverts some of the food including Fig Newtons (HA!) and meets David before he can storm the property and do something foolish.

David’s men had made a reasonable request. It’s often challenging when our reasonable request isn’t accepted and even disregarded.

She painted a somewhat humorous picture of future king David. Yelling to his men, “Strap on your sword. No sheep shearer is gonna talk to me that way.”

As the speaker said, “Flesh shows up on the scene first. The Spirit often takes his time.” 

As every person in ministry has been tempted to think, “Don’t you people see what my family does for you? Don’t you see the sacrifices we make for you?” In our flesh, we get defensive. That is so wrong. 

I don’t have to defend myself. Every believer has a defender, and He’s called the Lion of Judah. Erin painted the funniest word picture for us. Imagine yourself throwing cotton balls at our disagreeable person, while the Lion of Judah is standing right behind us.

It’s my job to keep a Christ-like attitude at all times. (I’m trying.) When we have a Christ-like attitude we can hide behind our “Rock.” Jesus is our rock fortress, our shield, our hiding place. Psalms 121 is an amazing chapter to read about this topic. 

When dealing with difficult people, we should step aside and let Jesus handle them. We should be quiet and kind. Let me rephrase that. “I should be quiet and kind.” Feel free to make me feel better and insert your name there instead of mine!

I believe I’m going to have to leave you hanging. But stay tuned next week. No I’m not going to name names, and you shouldn’t either. Just read the story of Nabal and Abigail in I. Samuel 25 and ask yourself, “What would you have done in that situation?”

Remember, “The way you respond to difficult people might be one of the greatest indicators of how you really think of God.”

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